A Bizzare Dragon of Dragons!
by mr I hate znt nobles kill em
Summary: Hyoudou Issei is part of the Perverted Trio, an infamous group of perverts known throughout Kuoh Academy. But what people don't know is that he is a Stand User. Unlike many other people who hide their perverted and hypocritical desires, Issei Stands Proud. His dream is to become Harem King! With his Stand DragonForce a Bizzare Adventure awaits! Fabulous!Issei
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:I do not own JoJo****'****s Bizarre Adventure and/or High School DxD**

**Chapter 1:[Excessive]Violence is [not] always the answer.**

**Issei POV**

"Will you die for me?" said my new girlfriend Yuuma Amano, man I was so lucky my reputation in school as part of the Perverted Trio was something I thought would ruin any and all chances of me having...wait what?

"Yuuma-chan can you repeat that? I think something's wrong with my ears?" that's right I wasn't hearing things right there was no way that my first ever date would involve a murderous Yandere...righT?

"I said **Will you die for me**?" she said it again, while laughing. No No No No No! Yandere's only exist in anime!

FLAP

Black Wings suddenly sprouted right out of her back, those black wings and her cute face make her look like an angel. But the blackness of the wings...aren't angels supposed to have white wings?

"It was fun. The short time I spent with you. It was like playing house with a little child."

Yuuma-chan's voice became very cold. Her mouth is formed a cold smile that sent chills down my spine.

BUZZ

A sound vibrates through the air and the next thing I know she's holding a glowing spear. She then moves to throw it at me but-

"DragonForce!" [BOOST!]

"You-" I didn't let 'Yuuma-chan' finish, "GO!GO!GO!GO!GO!GO!GO!GO!GO!" My 'Stand' DragonForce, the red armoured figure that looked like a humanoid dragon covered in green jewels started pummelling my so-called girlfriend. I should have trusted my instincts!

[BOOST!][BOOST!][BOOST!][BOOST!][BOOST!][BOOST!][BOOST!]

With each [BOOST!] the power coming from those punches doubled! That's what you get for playing with my heart! Scary(maybe)Yandere with black wings and an energy spear!

The rapid punching ended when DragonForce momentarily punched her straight up into the air right before punching her again so hard that she flew, well not with her wings, straight towards a tree!

BOOM!

Unfortunately for the tree, Yuuma-chan broke it on impact

"How dare you play with a young innocent virgin boy's heart and ruin my first date with something as scary as that, Yuuma-chan!" while I was saying this on reflex I quickly put both arms behind my butt, bended over and glared right at Yuuma-chan…..I think I really over did it there….and the day started off so well…

"I don't want to get assraped in prison!" this was just another day in my life, the somewhat bizarre life of Hyoudou Issei the Greatest Pervert in Za Warudo!

Chapter 1:End


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:I do not own JoJo's Bizarre Adventure or High School DxD**

**Chapter 2:Weird Things**

**Issei POV**

I continued to look at the body of my first ever girlfriend, Amano Yuuma. For the past few hours my first date was so nice, I never thought I'd ever actually get a girlfriend. It really was to good to be true!

"How in ZA WARUDO did this happen?" as I asked myself that question I for whatever the reasons started reminiscing about my life before the possible assrapes I would get in prison…..

XXXXXX

**(An example of Issei's "everyday life")**

"Take this! and this!"

"I love puppies! Die you little shit!"

"High Score!"

"Boom Headshot!"

"HAHAHAHA!"

Dog kickers with Paintball Guns. The biggest shits in the whole wide world….

I think I'll do a detour from the local porn mag shop.

"Tatsuya-san, this little shit is trying to move away!"

"Well shoot it, Kencchan!"

"Kencchan" then pointed his paintball gun at the poor puppy and fired. "Kencchan" along with his "friends" had zero prospects for life. Not only were they amongst the most vicious delinquents in Kuoh Town, they never attended any of their classes and were already held back at least three times. Course to our dear "hero" this wasn't something he had known, course knowing it would just make the torture even better!

"Hey, you know it's not nice to torture animals." a young man, wearing a modified version of the local private school, Kuoh Academy, that included a red shirt and sneakers appeared with a smile.

This was Hyoudou Issei, a member of the Perverted Trio, a guy who exemplified being a crouching moron with traits of hidden badassery. Using his secret power he has done many great deeds! Among said "great deeds" which include successfully peeping at girls using his power, cheating on tests with his power, pulling the occasional prank with his power etc

He did the household chore of taking out the trash!

"Were just playing with the puppy. AND. Practicing our shooting skills, because one-day." suddenly all the delinquents did a weird pose by going behind one another in a straight line then putting their left legs and right arms forward "we will make it so that guns become more prominent in Japan!"

"Oh I see, you simply wish to make the stigmatised Japanese people love guns." Hyoudou Issei then turned back before suddenly a red armoured invisible figure appeared behind Issei's back and pointed at the delinquents "But screw you!"

[BOOST!][BOOST!][BOOST!]

The red armoured figure then also made it's own manly pose by standing straight, putting one hand on the left and the other in a straightforward point towards the delinquents

"GO!GO!GO!GO!GO!GO!GO!" the red armoured figure that was Issei's "Stand" named DragonForce attacked!

Each hit was precise and hard by picking to specifically hit their [balls]! With the first [BOOST!] made it hard the next ones made it even harder and harder till it decide to do a PREBURST by punching all of the delinquents in a stream of punches!

DragonForce soon stopped its onslaught on the delinquents. Issei was satisfied. Their beatings showed him a Good Time!

Issei then picked up the puppy covered in bruises and paint from all the paintballgun shots! He then walked away, the light surrounding Issei just made his exit even more dramatic! IF ONLY HE HAD A BADASS CAPE!

"….holy shit I went overboard! OH!MY!GOD!" as such Issei's life was really weird, badass and pathetic

**(example of Issei's Daily Life END!)**

XXXXXX

**Issei POV**

What do I do!? What do I do!? I think I just killed her! Do I check her maybe-dead body!?

But that would be necrophilia even I'm not in to that shit!

XXXXXX

**Narrator's Voice**

ISSEI SUCCUMBED TO COMPLETE DESPAIR! THERE WAS LITERALLY NOTHING HE COULD THINK OF AT THE MOMENT TO DEAL WITH THE SITUATION!

FOR WHATEVER THE REASON HE TOOK OUT THE GLOWING FLIER IN HIS POCKET! EVEN ISSEI DID NOT KNOW WHY HE TOOK OUT THE FLIER!

BUT THE TRUTH WAS HIS SHEER DESIRE TO MAINTAIN HIS ANAL VIRGINITY CAUSED HIS BODY TO MOVE BY INSTINCT!

THE FLIER THEN GLOWED WITH A STRANGE LIGHT!

IT WAS SUMMONING SOMETHING!

XXXXXX

**Issei POV**

"I have no idea what the hell is happening." on reflex for the second time this night I suddenly made a pose! I stood on one leg, hugged myself and did a donkey kick!

Something came out of the flier….it was it was…

A sexy devil!?….

"Uuuuum Hi."

NO IT WAS A PRETTY BOY! SPECIFICALLY IT WAS YUUTO KIBA! FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!

Chapter 2:End

Omake:Dio Brando as Gasper Valdi

Gasper:"Your first kiss wasn't with Ise-senpai! It was with me, Gasper!"

(OOC!)Koneko:"You. You bastard!"

Much much much later

Kuroka:"How many men's [balls] did you steal for that manly body of yours!?"

Gasper:"Do you remember how often you've sexually harassed that Marty Stu?"

Kuroka:"You bastard!"


End file.
